We are getting close to the date we leave for China. We leave 6/19 at 6:35 pm. We will go to Seattle WA, spend the night, then on to Beijing, layover 5 hrs, and on to Nanning. We get there 6/22 at 1:30 am. Whew! I usually need to be getting paid well to be up at this time of night. We are very excited, but slighly stressed and nervous at the same time. Riley will be traveling with us. I am now wondering what Miss June's personality will be like. I know she will look at 6ft1 inch tall Curtis, 5 ft 8 inch me, and 10 year old Riley who is as big as most adult Chinese males and wonder when the giants landed! We will look like the amazon people to her. She is so very tiny in the photos we have of her and I am sure we will scare her. Heck, we scare me! So, it will be fun to see how she is, meet her, learn of her personality. I expect she will grieve alot, be scared, and most likely whack us upside the head some. But she will learn to love us. Because we first loved her. I dont think anyone who hasnt done an international adoption can understand how you can fall in love with a child in a picture. But you can. Mainly because you love the thought of another child. But because we believe in committment. When we sent in Letter of Intent for her, we were committed to her. She is one child who we can love and help have a better life. We love her because we committed her into our family. And for us, family is everything. So for better or worse sweet June, you are ours. We have committed. Someday the feeling will be mutual. Someday. However, WE ARE SOON LEAVING ON A JET PLANE. DONT KNOW WHEN I'LL BE BACK AGAIN. (well actually 7/2).
Follow us to China. We will post there and send pictures and hopefully little video clips.
Love to you all,
cindy
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
The Mia Rose Waters Scholarship
Tonight we presented the 2nd Mia Rose Waters scholarship. We were unable to emotionally do it last year since it was given only one month after her death. They asked us to present it at Trinity Christian Academy graduation. This is the school that Riley has attended since preK and Mia was almost thru her PreK year. They have been fabulous to us. So this year, we considered if we felt up to doing the presentation, and Curtis did not feel he could, but I felt I could so I did the honors. It would have been easier to let Dr. Barber do it this year as last, but I feel she is our daughter and it is our responsibility to ensure her life is honored. Below is what i penned just an hour or so before the ceremony:
As many of you know, our sweet little girl Mia was in preK here last year and passed away a little over a year ago. We had adopted her from China when she was 13 months old. We had prayed for years for a daughter, and God rewarded our hearts desire. She was a fabulous child, one any parent would have been proud to raise. After she passed away, we wanted to honor her memory with a scholarship award fund. We asked that in liu of flowers, that consideration be made to donate to her fund. What we saw was an overwhelming outpouring of love, both in flowers and donations.
We believe in the saying"it takes a village to raise a child". We were not alone in her life. Our church and this school were part of her village. No words can express how kind everyone was and still is to us and our son Riley. So with this in mind, we wish to be part of another Trinity Christian girl's life.We have asked the leadership here at the school to help us choose a young lady who exemplifies what we prayed our daughter would be. We looked for a scholar, but also a christian giver. This is someone who knows that true happiness lies in a life of service to others. We want to be you cheerleaders from the sideline. We will pray for you and your family and your future. Life is a precious thing, and to see a young lady go into this world representing our school and our family well is a joy.
The 2008 recipient of the Mia Rose Quining Waters Memorial Scholarship of 1500.00 is
HANNAH BENJAMIN.
After the program, as we hastily tried to leave and get to the car, we were stopped by several people to tell us how strong we were, how proud they were of us, blah, blah. But for those of you who have yet to go thru unimaginable grief, let me tell you the rest of the story. This 'BRAVE" family keeps the front up well. We smile and thank you and hold our head up high. We talk loud into the microphone to make sure the voice doesnt shake or waver from the emotion of it all.
We go home, take a shower, turn the light off and cry. For you see, no parent should talk about a memorial scholarship in their 4 year olds name. I wish this girl well, and really mean it. But I really just want mine back. I go to sleep tonight wishing Mia was next to me in bed sleeping as she did each night since we got her. Not just sleeping, but going to sleep holding my hand. We arent brave or strong, we are just hurt people trying to put one foot in front of the other because we have no other choice. I grew up with this profound sense of fairness. If it wasnt fair, we were all obligated to try to fix it. Poverty wasnt fair, so volunteerism should be done. Racial inequality isnt fair, and should never be tolerated. Sex discrimination isnt fair and I worked very hard to overcome this in my training and my life. But I have a new perspective now. Some things arent fair and cant be overcome. Loosing her is one of them. I am still trying to accept that. But it isnt fair.
As many of you know, our sweet little girl Mia was in preK here last year and passed away a little over a year ago. We had adopted her from China when she was 13 months old. We had prayed for years for a daughter, and God rewarded our hearts desire. She was a fabulous child, one any parent would have been proud to raise. After she passed away, we wanted to honor her memory with a scholarship award fund. We asked that in liu of flowers, that consideration be made to donate to her fund. What we saw was an overwhelming outpouring of love, both in flowers and donations.
We believe in the saying"it takes a village to raise a child". We were not alone in her life. Our church and this school were part of her village. No words can express how kind everyone was and still is to us and our son Riley. So with this in mind, we wish to be part of another Trinity Christian girl's life.We have asked the leadership here at the school to help us choose a young lady who exemplifies what we prayed our daughter would be. We looked for a scholar, but also a christian giver. This is someone who knows that true happiness lies in a life of service to others. We want to be you cheerleaders from the sideline. We will pray for you and your family and your future. Life is a precious thing, and to see a young lady go into this world representing our school and our family well is a joy.
The 2008 recipient of the Mia Rose Quining Waters Memorial Scholarship of 1500.00 is
HANNAH BENJAMIN.
After the program, as we hastily tried to leave and get to the car, we were stopped by several people to tell us how strong we were, how proud they were of us, blah, blah. But for those of you who have yet to go thru unimaginable grief, let me tell you the rest of the story. This 'BRAVE" family keeps the front up well. We smile and thank you and hold our head up high. We talk loud into the microphone to make sure the voice doesnt shake or waver from the emotion of it all.
We go home, take a shower, turn the light off and cry. For you see, no parent should talk about a memorial scholarship in their 4 year olds name. I wish this girl well, and really mean it. But I really just want mine back. I go to sleep tonight wishing Mia was next to me in bed sleeping as she did each night since we got her. Not just sleeping, but going to sleep holding my hand. We arent brave or strong, we are just hurt people trying to put one foot in front of the other because we have no other choice. I grew up with this profound sense of fairness. If it wasnt fair, we were all obligated to try to fix it. Poverty wasnt fair, so volunteerism should be done. Racial inequality isnt fair, and should never be tolerated. Sex discrimination isnt fair and I worked very hard to overcome this in my training and my life. But I have a new perspective now. Some things arent fair and cant be overcome. Loosing her is one of them. I am still trying to accept that. But it isnt fair.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
ISNT SHE LOVELY?
Oh my goodness!!! New photos of our sweet girl. Isnt she lovely? She is now a toddler, growing up without me. Where is my Travel Approval????? I want her now.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Letter of Acceptance for Us Finally!!!!!
Finally, today on day 108 of our wait for LOA, we got it!! This basically means that China says that our new daughter is ours, and this is final. But after what we have gone thru to get here, we also hear all kinds of other things in this acceptance that most never see or feel. We hear from them that they do not hold us responsible for the loss of our first daughter from China. Their questions were very blunt and pointed. And they must have felt our answers were adequate. We hear from this Loa that we are the right family for this new beautiful little girl. We also "hear" from this LOA that we are the ones to be entrusted to love her, raise her and stand on the sidelines and cheer her on in life. My parents have always been my rock in times of need, and we get to be one more child's rock. There is a certainly a feeling of being humbled when you realize that you will soon be handed a small child who has already been thru so much loss in her life. She will have gone thru more pain, saddness and lonliness at her young age than many know in a lifetime. But God in his perfect knowledge has given her to us. Not because we are perfect parents, because heaven knows we arent. But I believe he looked at her and said "those who know loss should be parented by those who have endured loss". She will be loved and cherished forever by us. I pledge to spoil her rotten as I have my other children. I promise to stand by her and cheer her on in life and to be her rock. I hope when she is older and survives her teen years with me(heaven help us both) she looks at me as I do my mother and says "if I could only be more like you".
Sleep well Miss June Lee. From this night on you officially have a mommy, daddy, and family. And with us, a forever family that will help you face life, as you help us face our life. The two things together have gotta be a match made in heaven. I do think heaven is rejoicing with us tonight. Thanks be to our God for allowing us to love a new child again.
Sleep well Miss June Lee. From this night on you officially have a mommy, daddy, and family. And with us, a forever family that will help you face life, as you help us face our life. The two things together have gotta be a match made in heaven. I do think heaven is rejoicing with us tonight. Thanks be to our God for allowing us to love a new child again.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
A Precious Legacy
I have been in a major funk for the last 2 weeks. For you see, the govt agency in China that approves a referral has now sent a list of questions to us. They want more info on Mia's death, the accident, and things about her funeral, burial etc. I so was afraid of this, but since they knew of her death when they gave us approval(PA) in Jan., I expected questions then, not now. We are on day 75 of our wait to LOA, and many people get this by now. So we had to answer these questions and rehash it all again. And send info on her funeral, burial and scholarship fund we award in her name. So you can imagine how different it is to not only wait, but to wait anxiously.
So this is where my heart and soul have been for the last 2 weeks. In a funk. But I must tell you my next story....
I deliver babies at 2 hospitals in Ft Worth, TX. One of the hospitals just built the most beautiful women's hospital for labor and delivery and female surgery and care. Truly one of the nicest facilities probably in the country. Friday night was to be the formal tour followed by dinner in downtown Ft Worth at a very nice club. This was for all the board of directors and physicians. I have been excited about my patients having this choice now for their healthcare. But because of the "funk" I wasnt going to the tour and party. But my best friend and call partner twisted my arm and told me I had to go for "political reasons". Huh. So I donned my fancy clothes and went to the tour and dinner. As we valet parked at the hospital entrance, I walked into the most beautiful lobby you would ever see in a hospital. There are fountains, marble and gorgeous commissioned art. Many original pieces are statues for women and dresses. So lovely. As the director walked me around, she took me by 3 gorgeous hand painted pictures . The first is of a little girl, the second is of a toddler boy, the third is of a lovely chinese girl with a big bow in her hair. She told me they paid 20,000 each for the paintings. I looked at the picture of the chinese girl and caught my breath. It looked so much like Mia I had to look away. I commented on how I loved them, and we walked on. After the remainder of the tour, my husband pulled me aside and told me that picture sure looks like Mia. I made some comment of how I was glad they had diversity in the photos and we went to dinner. There we all sat down and the Director spoke. She made mention that the project was like being pregnant 3 years and asked since I delivered her baby 15 years ago, was it possible to be pregnant that long. I laughted and remembered how hard her pregnancy had been. She had had many problems that pregnancy, required surgery during the pregnancy and hospital care. I was so grateful that her son is 15 and has been the light of her life. As the dinner ended, she walked to my table and kneeled beside me. She told me that she will never forget me holding her hand and promising her I would do everything I could to help her with this baby she was carrying. She told me she will never forget the calm she got with me. And because of this she was eternally grateful. She told me that when Mia died, she grieved with me. And she will never forget the tribute in her funeral and the story of her life. So when they commissioned the paintings, she told the artist to paint Mia in one of them. That picture is Mia. My Mia. There for all the women and children who walk thru those doors to see. When I pass away, She will still be up there. I am eternally grateful for people like this who know just when I need to feel loved. How can you be in a funk when people love you like this? I just wish China knew that she was so loved and still loved. They would stop with the questions and approve us AGAIN for June Lee. Because someday I want my husband to bring her to the hospital to visit me on call, and have her walk by that picture and say "That is my big sister Mia".
Pray for us and our new child. Pray for CCAA to send quick LOA. Pray for my anxiousness. Pray for Riley because he so wants a little sister and if it does not go thru, he will be devestated. And he has been through enough.
So this is where my heart and soul have been for the last 2 weeks. In a funk. But I must tell you my next story....
I deliver babies at 2 hospitals in Ft Worth, TX. One of the hospitals just built the most beautiful women's hospital for labor and delivery and female surgery and care. Truly one of the nicest facilities probably in the country. Friday night was to be the formal tour followed by dinner in downtown Ft Worth at a very nice club. This was for all the board of directors and physicians. I have been excited about my patients having this choice now for their healthcare. But because of the "funk" I wasnt going to the tour and party. But my best friend and call partner twisted my arm and told me I had to go for "political reasons". Huh. So I donned my fancy clothes and went to the tour and dinner. As we valet parked at the hospital entrance, I walked into the most beautiful lobby you would ever see in a hospital. There are fountains, marble and gorgeous commissioned art. Many original pieces are statues for women and dresses. So lovely. As the director walked me around, she took me by 3 gorgeous hand painted pictures . The first is of a little girl, the second is of a toddler boy, the third is of a lovely chinese girl with a big bow in her hair. She told me they paid 20,000 each for the paintings. I looked at the picture of the chinese girl and caught my breath. It looked so much like Mia I had to look away. I commented on how I loved them, and we walked on. After the remainder of the tour, my husband pulled me aside and told me that picture sure looks like Mia. I made some comment of how I was glad they had diversity in the photos and we went to dinner. There we all sat down and the Director spoke. She made mention that the project was like being pregnant 3 years and asked since I delivered her baby 15 years ago, was it possible to be pregnant that long. I laughted and remembered how hard her pregnancy had been. She had had many problems that pregnancy, required surgery during the pregnancy and hospital care. I was so grateful that her son is 15 and has been the light of her life. As the dinner ended, she walked to my table and kneeled beside me. She told me that she will never forget me holding her hand and promising her I would do everything I could to help her with this baby she was carrying. She told me she will never forget the calm she got with me. And because of this she was eternally grateful. She told me that when Mia died, she grieved with me. And she will never forget the tribute in her funeral and the story of her life. So when they commissioned the paintings, she told the artist to paint Mia in one of them. That picture is Mia. My Mia. There for all the women and children who walk thru those doors to see. When I pass away, She will still be up there. I am eternally grateful for people like this who know just when I need to feel loved. How can you be in a funk when people love you like this? I just wish China knew that she was so loved and still loved. They would stop with the questions and approve us AGAIN for June Lee. Because someday I want my husband to bring her to the hospital to visit me on call, and have her walk by that picture and say "That is my big sister Mia".
Pray for us and our new child. Pray for CCAA to send quick LOA. Pray for my anxiousness. Pray for Riley because he so wants a little sister and if it does not go thru, he will be devestated. And he has been through enough.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
PHOTO UPDATES!!!!!!!
Here are 4 of 13 new photos we got from 2 angels, one on my agency email site(Kelly R.) and her friend in China, Angela. I just looked at her and my heart melted. These photos are from 2 weeks ago. I have some sadness in seeing how big she is getting and how she is growing without me. I am glad she looks so very healthy and developmentally on target. In just a few months we get to go get her and bring her home. How lucky can our family be? Sunday, January 13, 2008
Off To A New Journey
Welcome to my attempt to get into the information 21st century. We are off to a new journey to get our new daughter June Lee Meixing Waters. Please join us as we start ANOTHER ride of our lives.
As most of you know, we adopted a precious little girl from China in 2003. Our sweet little daughter Mia Rose was very ill when we got her, very behind developmentally and very malnourished. I remember the first time I held her I couldnt believe that someone had just handed us a beautiful 13 month old little girl to just walk away with. We quickly took her to the hotel room to check out and it took me 12 hours to decide if she had poor muscle tone due to neglect or had cerebral palsy. We also found out she was very ill with pneumonia, double ear infections and profoundly impacted. She was unable to hear much until we had tubes put in and her first speech was much like that of a deaf child.
Fast forward to 2007 and you would have seen a gorgeous little lady who sang(off key of course), danced and fiercely loved her mom and dad and brothers. She was becoming quite the diva and I secretly smiled at that, knowing if anyone deserved to be spoiled it was her. But the best part was that she was growing in the love and understanding of Jesus Christ. I will never forget her playing Tball and the boy on first tapped her with his glove to get her out. She just stood there crying and I ran on the field to get her to go back to the dugout and just as I got there she looked at me and said "That boy doesnt have Jesus in his Heart!!! I had to laugh as I tried to explain to her that was how you play baseball and he was not just being mean. I wondered then if I was raising the church lady from Saturday Night Live sit com. She was fabulous and everything we ever dreamed of for a daughter. However, God had a different need for her in his plan. She passed away 4/17/07 in a tragic drowning accident while under the after school care of our nanny. We will never understand or have peace with her being gone. We will never stop loving her and missing her. But our only answer to this horrible situation is that we believe God looked at this sweet little girl living in an orphanage in china. He knew her days would be numbered as 4years8months6days. He knew she was too special to live them without a loving family. So he saw us dreaming of a little daughter, and knew we were strong enough to love her everyday like it would be her last, take her all over the country and other countries on trips, touch her and caress her like she was the gift she was. He knew we would be overwhelmed with the loss and grief but we were strong enough to survive and keep going. He knew we would take the loss and make as much good from it as we could. The loss does not define us as a family. We hope it show others what a belief in heaven does when you loose a loved one. We hope is show people that we are not necessarily strong, but humbled by the time we had with her. We are 2 parents with children very devoted to each other and who know how to love each other, and children brought into our family out of love.
We believe God has looked down and felt we completed our first journey well. He has blessed us with the referral of another little girl. She waits for us now in China. Her birthday is 1/2/07. She will be named June Lee Meixing Waters. June is in honor of her grandmother Doris June and me(Cynthia June). Lee is in honor of her dad Curtis Lee. Meixing is her chinese name and we do not yet have a translation. She has a repaired cleft lip and an unrepaired cleft palate. She also has an orthopedic small toe issue. We hope to travel by May to get her.
We know this new daughter will not replace Mia. We do not want to. She will forever be 4 years old in our heart, even when we are much older. But our house is empty, and we want to parent another child who may not otherwise get a chance to know what a family is. She may not know ever without us that she can be anything she wants with us at her side cheering. She may not know what it is like to have 3 brothers loving and spoiling her. But most of all, she may not know without us who Jesus Christ is. We gotta believe there are a few more first base tballers who need little girls preaching to them!
So, yes we know that Jordan is getting married 7/07 and leaving the home. Yes we know Tyler goes off to College 8/08. Yes we know Riley will soon be 11 and more independent. Yes we know we are getting old. But, we are not too old to love again. We are not too old to give one more child a chance. We are not too old to devote the next couple of decades to show the world what a child does to a family. She will bring us far more than we have to give her. And that is a wonderful thing. Follow us thru this blog on our journey!
As most of you know, we adopted a precious little girl from China in 2003. Our sweet little daughter Mia Rose was very ill when we got her, very behind developmentally and very malnourished. I remember the first time I held her I couldnt believe that someone had just handed us a beautiful 13 month old little girl to just walk away with. We quickly took her to the hotel room to check out and it took me 12 hours to decide if she had poor muscle tone due to neglect or had cerebral palsy. We also found out she was very ill with pneumonia, double ear infections and profoundly impacted. She was unable to hear much until we had tubes put in and her first speech was much like that of a deaf child.
Fast forward to 2007 and you would have seen a gorgeous little lady who sang(off key of course), danced and fiercely loved her mom and dad and brothers. She was becoming quite the diva and I secretly smiled at that, knowing if anyone deserved to be spoiled it was her. But the best part was that she was growing in the love and understanding of Jesus Christ. I will never forget her playing Tball and the boy on first tapped her with his glove to get her out. She just stood there crying and I ran on the field to get her to go back to the dugout and just as I got there she looked at me and said "That boy doesnt have Jesus in his Heart!!! I had to laugh as I tried to explain to her that was how you play baseball and he was not just being mean. I wondered then if I was raising the church lady from Saturday Night Live sit com. She was fabulous and everything we ever dreamed of for a daughter. However, God had a different need for her in his plan. She passed away 4/17/07 in a tragic drowning accident while under the after school care of our nanny. We will never understand or have peace with her being gone. We will never stop loving her and missing her. But our only answer to this horrible situation is that we believe God looked at this sweet little girl living in an orphanage in china. He knew her days would be numbered as 4years8months6days. He knew she was too special to live them without a loving family. So he saw us dreaming of a little daughter, and knew we were strong enough to love her everyday like it would be her last, take her all over the country and other countries on trips, touch her and caress her like she was the gift she was. He knew we would be overwhelmed with the loss and grief but we were strong enough to survive and keep going. He knew we would take the loss and make as much good from it as we could. The loss does not define us as a family. We hope it show others what a belief in heaven does when you loose a loved one. We hope is show people that we are not necessarily strong, but humbled by the time we had with her. We are 2 parents with children very devoted to each other and who know how to love each other, and children brought into our family out of love.
We believe God has looked down and felt we completed our first journey well. He has blessed us with the referral of another little girl. She waits for us now in China. Her birthday is 1/2/07. She will be named June Lee Meixing Waters. June is in honor of her grandmother Doris June and me(Cynthia June). Lee is in honor of her dad Curtis Lee. Meixing is her chinese name and we do not yet have a translation. She has a repaired cleft lip and an unrepaired cleft palate. She also has an orthopedic small toe issue. We hope to travel by May to get her.
We know this new daughter will not replace Mia. We do not want to. She will forever be 4 years old in our heart, even when we are much older. But our house is empty, and we want to parent another child who may not otherwise get a chance to know what a family is. She may not know ever without us that she can be anything she wants with us at her side cheering. She may not know what it is like to have 3 brothers loving and spoiling her. But most of all, she may not know without us who Jesus Christ is. We gotta believe there are a few more first base tballers who need little girls preaching to them!
So, yes we know that Jordan is getting married 7/07 and leaving the home. Yes we know Tyler goes off to College 8/08. Yes we know Riley will soon be 11 and more independent. Yes we know we are getting old. But, we are not too old to love again. We are not too old to give one more child a chance. We are not too old to devote the next couple of decades to show the world what a child does to a family. She will bring us far more than we have to give her. And that is a wonderful thing. Follow us thru this blog on our journey!
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