The Mia Rose Waters Scholarship

Tonight we presented the 2nd Mia Rose Waters scholarship. We were unable to emotionally do it last year since it was given only one month after her death. They asked us to present it at Trinity Christian Academy graduation. This is the school that Riley has attended since preK and Mia was almost thru her PreK year. They have been fabulous to us. So this year, we considered if we felt up to doing the presentation, and Curtis did not feel he could, but I felt I could so I did the honors. It would have been easier to let Dr. Barber do it this year as last, but I feel she is our daughter and it is our responsibility to ensure her life is honored. Below is what i penned just an hour or so before the ceremony:
As many of you know, our sweet little girl Mia was in preK here last year and passed away a little over a year ago. We had adopted her from China when she was 13 months old. We had prayed for years for a daughter, and God rewarded our hearts desire. She was a fabulous child, one any parent would have been proud to raise. After she passed away, we wanted to honor her memory with a scholarship award fund. We asked that in liu of flowers, that consideration be made to donate to her fund. What we saw was an overwhelming outpouring of love, both in flowers and donations.
We believe in the saying"it takes a village to raise a child". We were not alone in her life. Our church and this school were part of her village. No words can express how kind everyone was and still is to us and our son Riley. So with this in mind, we wish to be part of another Trinity Christian girl's life.We have asked the leadership here at the school to help us choose a young lady who exemplifies what we prayed our daughter would be. We looked for a scholar, but also a christian giver. This is someone who knows that true happiness lies in a life of service to others. We want to be you cheerleaders from the sideline. We will pray for you and your family and your future. Life is a precious thing, and to see a young lady go into this world representing our school and our family well is a joy.
The 2008 recipient of the Mia Rose Quining Waters Memorial Scholarship of 1500.00 is
HANNAH BENJAMIN.
After the program, as we hastily tried to leave and get to the car, we were stopped by several people to tell us how strong we were, how proud they were of us, blah, blah. But for those of you who have yet to go thru unimaginable grief, let me tell you the rest of the story. This 'BRAVE" family keeps the front up well. We smile and thank you and hold our head up high. We talk loud into the microphone to make sure the voice doesnt shake or waver from the emotion of it all.
We go home, take a shower, turn the light off and cry. For you see, no parent should talk about a memorial scholarship in their 4 year olds name. I wish this girl well, and really mean it. But I really just want mine back. I go to sleep tonight wishing Mia was next to me in bed sleeping as she did each night since we got her. Not just sleeping, but going to sleep holding my hand. We arent brave or strong, we are just hurt people trying to put one foot in front of the other because we have no other choice. I grew up with this profound sense of fairness. If it wasnt fair, we were all obligated to try to fix it. Poverty wasnt fair, so volunteerism should be done. Racial inequality isnt fair, and should never be tolerated. Sex discrimination isnt fair and I worked very hard to overcome this in my training and my life. But I have a new perspective now. Some things arent fair and cant be overcome. Loosing her is one of them. I am still trying to accept that. But it isnt fair.

ISNT SHE LOVELY?

Oh my goodness!!! New photos of our sweet girl. Isnt she lovely? She is now a toddler, growing up without me. Where is my Travel Approval????? I want her now.

Letter of Acceptance for Us Finally!!!!!

Finally, today on day 108 of our wait for LOA, we got it!! This basically means that China says that our new daughter is ours, and this is final. But after what we have gone thru to get here, we also hear all kinds of other things in this acceptance that most never see or feel. We hear from them that they do not hold us responsible for the loss of our first daughter from China. Their questions were very blunt and pointed. And they must have felt our answers were adequate. We hear from this Loa that we are the right family for this new beautiful little girl. We also "hear" from this LOA that we are the ones to be entrusted to love her, raise her and stand on the sidelines and cheer her on in life. My parents have always been my rock in times of need, and we get to be one more child's rock. There is a certainly a feeling of being humbled when you realize that you will soon be handed a small child who has already been thru so much loss in her life. She will have gone thru more pain, saddness and lonliness at her young age than many know in a lifetime. But God in his perfect knowledge has given her to us. Not because we are perfect parents, because heaven knows we arent. But I believe he looked at her and said "those who know loss should be parented by those who have endured loss". She will be loved and cherished forever by us. I pledge to spoil her rotten as I have my other children. I promise to stand by her and cheer her on in life and to be her rock. I hope when she is older and survives her teen years with me(heaven help us both) she looks at me as I do my mother and says "if I could only be more like you".
Sleep well Miss June Lee. From this night on you officially have a mommy, daddy, and family. And with us, a forever family that will help you face life, as you help us face our life. The two things together have gotta be a match made in heaven. I do think heaven is rejoicing with us tonight. Thanks be to our God for allowing us to love a new child again.