Last full day in Guanghzou

Today we went to a Buddist temple and several other families had their babies blessed by the monks. I wanted Riley to see the beauty of the temple and I think it is an interesting thing to see in China. We did not bless our baby, mainly because it is, in my heart, contrary to the inner beliefs I have in a heavenly father. I have asked our God for blessings on this little girl from the moment I saw her photo. So, I pass no judgement on those who do this, but feel for our family, the visit to the temple was for interest only. We did see the female budda who is in charge of fertility, and when our guide told us this, I wanted to run...and fast. No fertility blessings desired here. We have been fertile enough. LOL.. Enjoy some photos of the day.

Safari Park Guanghzou

We visited the safari zoo yesterday and it is a beautiful botanical type zoo. You ride in a little tram thru part of the park and watch the animals as in an african safari. Half way thru the day, at the furthest part of the park , on foot, we got caught in a torrential downpour. Rained and Rained. June was a trouper but after we were all soaking and cold, she got a little miffed. She must have throught "The amazon people have taken me home to the rain forest". Riley enjoyed it all, and liked the rain the most. I will have to censor Curtis's general feelings about the day. LOL. PS: June still HATES him. With a passion. He is trying to act like he is ok and understands, but I think it is wearing on him. Me too, since that leaves me doing everything for her. And when she gets upset and cries(which is alot) she now screams for MOMMA at the top of her lungs. And I am not the momma she is crying for. She misses her nannies at the orphanage and her stable world. It is so very hard to hear. Breaks my heart, really. I pray she will soon find some peace. The process for her has been very heartbreaking. I feel like a kidnapper.

One more day, then we leave for home.

cindy

Talk to the Hand, er...No, the back of the head

When we go out to eat, we put June in a high chair. Very quickly, she manages to turn herself around completly and put her back to us. It is comical, really, and no matter how many times I turn her around, she is right back with her back to me and her dad. Have you ever tried to feed a child ? Especially since most of her food is liquidy. My back and arms are tired from being a contortionist. You just gotta laugh at the spunk of this girl. Lord help us!

Do you think by looking at this photo that she is sending us a subtle message?

LOL

cindy

PIX FROM GUILIN

Elephant Trunk Hill And Reed Flute Cave

Guilin City

Li River Cruise

Tower of Terror

We arrived 2 days ago in Guanghzou. We are now at the Victory Hotel and rejoicing for the bigger rooms and better smell. No trace of mildew, than you very much. It is raining here, so it has dampened my shopping urges quite a bit. Today we go to the Safari park with the rest of our travel group. We have met up with several more families, and they are all as enjoyable to be around as the first part of our group. We did the dreaded paperwork session yesterday. 3 hrs around a large table getting paperwork completed. And I just thought I was done. Night before last was a horrible night for June. She cried all thru the night and maybe slept 1 hour. I was the walking zombie yesterday and definately felt "post call". I kindof melted down last night and told Curtis maybe I was too old and tired to do this again. He looked at me and told me to look into June's huge eyes and then tell him that. He was right. Even post mommy call, I looked at her face and had to smile. Its good , but it tiring. And that is just honest.
She hates the hotel rooms in general. When we walk into the rooms she screams and I have renamed the Victory Hotel "The Tower of Terror". Terror for her, so ultimately, terror for us.
A update on her special needs. Her cleft palate is actually not very wide, which made me very happy. Some children with cleft affected palates almost have no tissue at the top of their mouths. She has a fairly narrow split, so I hope that increases her success with surgery since there will be less tension when things "pulled together". Her lip actually looks good in photos, but in person you can tell it will need to be repaired. One side of her lip is not up were it is supposed to be. This leaves on side of mouth without much lip, and a little tissue blob (sorry for all medical terms LOL) in middle. This will need to be cut, and realigned. Her nose is as expected, and probably less affected than others with this since palate is less severe. Her foot is really not an issue. It has healed well. She is just so thin, and when I took her clothes off for the first time, I just wanted to cry. Tiny, skinny with bones showing and no muscle development at all. I have no idea how this girl can walk. She has tiny, lovely hands and they remind me of Riley's at 3 months of age. Amazingly little.
She has finally started having 2 good wet diapers a day. I know she must think I am weird, since she was so dehydrated when we got her, and wouldnt take the bottle, I was spoon feeding her one spoon of water every few minutes thru the day. Everytime she looked at me I was sticking a spoon of water in her mouth. She probably thought I was the giant spoon lady. "Oh no, here comes the water lady again with that tiny plastic spoon that she carries everywhere".
Feeding her and food has been an issue. Honestly, I am a "seasoned" momma, and have fed many babies. But when you are given a child and then leave, this part is hard. You dont know what kind of formula and taste they are used to. I asked the orphanage director, and he said"the usual kind" IE: I dont know, I dont take care of the babies". Then you dont know if it needs rice cereal, needs to be hot(some babies here only like it hot) or warm. Then there is the whole cleft thing and not able to suck. She cant or will not chew, so all food goes down whole. So we are left with feeding her poridge, congee and oatmeal. Oh well, we'll get it.
Gotta go now, she just woke up screaming. Let the daily terror begin....
cindy
hands up screaming as the tower of terror ride drops

Guilin Update Part 2

We have had a whirlwind of activity in Guilin. Yesterday we took the Li River cruise. We boarded a boat with an indoor area and a flat top. During the cruise we were able to stand on the top around the railings and view the beautiful and unique mountains and landscape. We saw amazing scenery and enjoyed it a lot. While we were on this cruise there was a group of about 20 teenage girls and their parents on a homeland tour. These girls were all adopted from china as young children and were back to tour China. It was fun to see the future in our girls. The only depressing thing is that I look now like these parents do. And I am just starting.
We cruised for about 4 hours and pulled into a quaint village to tour. As we disembarked, there was a man there with 2 birds on a stick allowing you to take a photo with him for 5 yuan(less than 1 dollar). We thought we would let riley do this and right before we got to the start of the line, the lady in front of us stood with the man and pulled out a magazine and held it with the front facing the camera. She was the one on the magazine front and was wearing a bikini and was very beautiful in the photo. I am not sure what kind of magazine it is, but apparently she is famous. Well this certainly made Curtis and Riley's day.
As we were walking down the streets, we constantly got mobbed by people selling trinkets. Now you dont dare stop and look or answer them or 50 more show up. This is just not a good thing to do with my husband. He thinks to be a good Texan, you must speak to everyone. I spent the day telling him not to look or speak. Even riley was telling him to walk in front of us so we could watch him. LOL. He got us mobbed routinely. And when you go to the retail booths, it is like Mexico bargaining X 100. Very aggressive. One lady kept pulling my arm and pulling me back when I passed her. The last time, she pulled so hard I stumbled and almost fell while carrying June in the carrier in front of me. I felt the Momma bear heat rising in my face, but quickly calmed myself. I dont need to call my two oldest sons and ask them to wire me money to get out of jail in China. I see the local headlines now: Foreign Doctor Jailed for Beating Local Woman with Diaperbag. LOL
One weathered old lady with no teeth and stooped back kept coming up to Curtis and rubbing his belly. I told him I think they think he is Budda and is rubbing him for luck. At first it was kindof embarrassing, and everywhere we went she showed up to rub his belly. Finally we got into a golf cart that was to take us to the bus. She was rubbing, but then started kindof slapping his belly and punching it. I really got pretty comical. If I could speak Chinese I would have told her that if she knew how many pork and beans he had eaten on the western buffet at the hotel, she wouldnt be pushing on his belly :)
Today we went thru a beautiful park on a lake and saw Elephant Trunk Hill. It is a hill that has a natural opening all the way thru it and looks (sortof) like a elephant and trunk. But the park was very enjoyable. Nothing like strolling in the heat of the day in 100 degree weather with 100 percent humidity with a baby strapped to the front of you in a carrier. I was ready to jump in the lake before it was over. This afternoon we went to Reed Flute Cave. It was a very beautiful cave and Riley really enjoyed it. But he was pretty disappointed there were no bats or bat guana. June hated the cave and whined the whole time. I think she thought we were back in our hotel room : dark, humid, musty smelling and wet dirty floors. I think our hotel must have flooded recently with all the rains, because it really smells like must and I am glad we are leaving in am, because I am pretty sure our suitcases will start showing black mold on the outside soon.
We are with 3 other families. With our first adoption, we were in a group of 13 families. And with that group, I realized that we international adoption families are an "eclectic" group. Some very unual folks were in that group. Like the lady who found out I was a Dr. and asked if I had vicodin with me. What? Like I am going to travel to China with my suitcase loaded with Vicodin? I wanted to tell her "No, but i do have a little heroin on me" Sheesh. Anyway, when that trip was over, they passed around a piece of paper for everyone to put their address, and I omitted putting our names down. On purpose. But I am amazed at these 3 other families here with us. They are all very wonderful people, with beautiful children, and none are first time parents. The experience they all have is so good when dealing with babies who come to you with definate issues. I am really enjoying their company.
June had a better day today. We went 2 full days without a wet diaper, so yesterday I pushed fluids. She of course does not suck well without a palate, and has not taken to the formula or bottles well. She doesnt chew at all, so table food must be very soft like oatmeal, congee. When we get home I will immediately put her on pediasure and she will need beginner baby food. She is warming up to Riley even more and tonight he had her laughing outloud as he threw her into the air. She is still very frightened of everything. She will not play with a toy, she can walk but screams when I put her down, and screams loudest of all if Curtis even looks at her. She will scream if he even moves around in the hotel room, so yesterday he just laid on the bed frozen, afraid to move. I had to laugh at that point and told him that was beyond rediculous, and she had to get used to him "moving". I finally gave her the pediatric laxative I brought and she had her first dirty diaper today since we got her. I guess we probably have ruled out giardia in this little girl. I can best describe her as a little rabbit that has been caught and held. You can feel them shiver as you hold the, feel their heart race with any new voice, sound or person. I still think she is terrified beyond words. I dont know of any way to fix it quicker . I hold her and make her feel as safe as possible. She seems to do best in my carrier when I wear her against me. I cant wait until the day she is running thru my house laughing and squealing. I know it will come, we just will have to be patient. She is silent. The only sounds she ever makes is crying. No babbling, no sighs, no sounds. The first sound i have heart other than crying was tonight with Riley. It was a soft giggle. Quick, and then she acted a little perturbed at herself that she let her guard down. She clings to me and goes to me easily. But it is not an attachment yet. This takes a long time. It is more of a "you dont scare me as much as he does" grip. I have no idea how this girl is walking. She is so very behind in everything else. Really, I think we almost need a carrier for her (the kind you swing around in your hands) so that I can sit her in the rooms as I walk in and out. Lord help us when I go right back to work when we get home and she stays all day with her Daddy. I am thinking ear plugs may be necessary for the 3 boys at home.
She is a gentle little soul. Soft, doesnt like dirty hands, pulls her pants legs down if they bunch up. She seems to like the girly things I put on her, and has discovered her hair bows today and tries to pull them out. That is one thing , girl, that I wont budge on. Get used to being a bow head. I will take it out at night before bed. I promise.
I will post pictures tomorrow. It takes me too much time to do this since I am tech. challenged and we have to get up at 5am for early flight to Guangzhou. Tomorrow we start the US part of the adoption paperwork. I miss my boys at home. I miss my parents. I miss my house. I miss my soft bed.
love,
The Mildew Bunch

Update from Guilin

We are now in Guilin, having arrived this afternoon by train. What a beautiful area. The train ride took about 5 hours, and we saw lovely rural areas, rice patty areas with men in traditional hats plowing with water buffalo and oxen. The run down areas looked almost beautiful because of the back drop of the mountains and lush greenery. We are at the waterfall hotel, and are settling in for the night. We will go on the Li River cruise tomorrow and I will post pics of what I hear is an amazing area.
We have managed to find some very good food everywhere we go. One night we stayed in our room, the kids tired, and ordered room service. I ordered spagetti and meat sauce(known for my less than adventuresome palate) and when it came, it was spagetti, but with stir fry peppers, onions and barbeque pork. I tried to tell the room service lady this is not what I wanted, but it looked good so I kept it. I ate it and it really was very good, the barbeque a little fatty but meat tender and sauce good. Riley ate half the plate, and I told Curtis to try the meat. He loved it and said he was going to order it the next day. Well the next night we ate in the hotel restraunt. They brought the menu and it had pictures of all the dishes for us westerners so we can just point. I saw the dish and read the english title. Conger Eel. I felt an overwhelming nausea hit me, only topped by Riley's reaction. However, the next day he bragged to every one that "he ordered and ate eel and it was really good." Good or not, I know what those things look like and it aint every happening again!
June has settled into a pattern of needing and wanting me, crying if I am not holding her, tolerating Riley and sometimes laughing at his crazy faces, but HATING her daddy. Curtis cant get within 5 feet of her without her shaking, and I can feel her heart beating like a little humming bird. She is terrified of him. I told Curtis, just think of how she will react when she is a teenager if she is already this way towards you now. Seriously, this is very normal in adoptions (internationally) because she probably has limited history with men in the orphanage. Of the 4 families here together with our agency, each child has selected a favorite parent and each one doesnt want anything to do with the other one. For some it is the mom, for others the dad. We know this is ok, and dont worry about it. She will come around as she is less frightened of it all. And besides, I react to Curtis this way often also. Scream if he is closer than 5 ft to me. :)
I am still amazed at how young June is in her skills and emotions. She wants to be held next to me like a baby and rocked. She will not try to feed herself and eats about 2 ounces per feeding of congee(rice mixture) . She must have a stomach the size of a peanut. She is not demanding and will sit with food in front of her and waits patiently for me to feed her, even when she is hungry. She has eaten everything I have given her without protest. She only stays awake 3 hours before she whines and lets me know to put her on my shoulder and then she is out in 60 seconds. Really sleeps alot. Like a tiny baby. But she sleeps at night until I finally wake her each morning.
I do think that the orphanage she was in was a good one and that they seemed to care when they handed her to us. The director told me much, and they gave me the camera back I sent and it is full of photos. They also gave me a photo album with many new pics of her that are wonderful: Her with her friends and caretakers and pictures of the outside of the orphanage. But, honestly, I dont care how "good " of an orphanage they are in, it is not the same as having a family to help and love you. My heart is broken for those who stay behind, most of them with no one coming for them, ever. I cant take them all. I can only take this one. Not to help her, but to help me. To help our family. We wanted her and needed her when she didnt want or think she needed us. But many people could and should open their hearts to the many children in this world who just needs somebody. We are done. Maybe someone out there can take the olympic torch from us and come for another waiting "June".
cindy

The Transformation Has Begun

Smiles are slowly peeking out of our girls face. What a beautiful sight.

MY GIRL

Sleeping Beauty

This aptly descibes our new daughter. We got her yesterday at 5pm and she cried and grieved for about 30 minutes and fell asleep in the bus going to the hotel. She slept from that point until I woke her at 7am. Almost 14 hrs. She woke up a couple of times last night and I saw her huge eyes open and then when she heard my voice she closed her eyes immediately, probably thinking she was having a horrible dream. How she can sleep 14 hrs thru Curtis's snoring I'll never know:). She has had two long naps today, and I will probably have to wake her for dinner. I on the other hand cant sleep. Not more than 3 hrs a night.
She is lovely, but oh so quiet. We experience the screamer for h--- last time, and on this adoption we are seeing the child who shuts down, and instead of grief, is in the firm grasp of extreme terror. She truly is scared to death. She finally walked some today, so I know she has this skill down. She is very weak in her core muscles, so she leans back to sit and while holding her I must support her back or she will flop back like a 3 month old. She does have fairly good fine motor skills with her hand and can bring a snack to her mouth. But no way could she manage a spoon. She is not ill and no obvious problems except a pretty bad heat rash around her neck. The orphanage director said that this showed up a few days ago and they gave us some steroid cream to apply. They do not have any airconditioning at the orphanage and I can only wonder how hot it must get inside the buildings because it is truly humid and scorching temps here. Poor babies. Just to reassure you all, she is normal for a child raised in an orphanage. I am not at all surprised by her level(9month developmentally, except walking) and I know that she is bright and has a spark in her eyes. She will be fine with a little Texas loving. She is very quiet, and will not try anything without looking at us first. She is just now comfortable enough to even move when I put her in a high chair. For my Mom out there, trust me she is ok. She makes great eye contact and nothing that is abnormal. But we definately do have a baby on our hands. I weighed her today and she weighs 15 lbs. Made me laugh out loud since my oldest son Jordan weighed 11 lbs at BIRTH, and she is 18 months old. I put her in 9-12 months clothes and they were a little big. Probably would fit 6 months perfect. That's OK, she'll need a lapband before we get through with her.
She is gentle and soft. Riley thinks she is just the most awesome baby ever, and I see his little eyes and heart taking it all in. What an amazing life changing trip for him. I guarantee he will be his sisters biggest supporter as she grows up. I have other boys at home, and they all will love her in an amazing way. She is tiny, needy and beautiful. Today is Riley's 11 birthday. Another awful cake for him. LOL. We just looked at this one and never cut it. Looks can be deceiving.
I asked the orphanage director about her foot and how it was injured. She has only 4 toes on one foot and a long scar down the side. It is well healed and doesnt bother her and she walks well on her own. He told me she was left in a box at the side of a river in a small town. This was within 48 hrs of her birth, in January. She got severe frost bite of her foot and the tissue including the toe died down to the bone. She was taken to the hospital for debriedment and toe removal. When he told me this, I got sick to my stomach. Dear God, how awful of a start for this tiny little miracle. I still am so sad over this. I was going to post her gotcha video from yesterday, but she had such fear and grief, I feel it is best left in her private part of her life. My mind will never forget it, but this is for her to try and understand someday, with us at her side.
Love,
Sleepless in Nanning(Mom)
Hibernation crew in Nanning (June, Curtis, Riley)

Pictures Say A Thousand Words

Just a short note to let you know we have the fairy princess. I am not exaggerating when I say she is the most beautiful child in the world. She has the largest eyes and longest eyelashes you can imagine. Her skin is fairer than mine(and that is fair). She is tiny and I doubt weighs the 19 lbs they say. I say more like 15. I am thinking the 9 months sizes I brought will fit her. She has alternated between wide eyed fear and wimpering and it just breaks my heart to see her grieve and be afraid. We have had her about 3 hrs, and she has slept much of this. She did let me hold and snuggle her close as she cried. Riley cried and cried today with all the civil affairs activities. There was a 4 year old being given to a family with our group who screamed for her foster mom the entire time. He couldnt stand all the babies crying and he felt so sad for them all. That is my soft hearted little baseball jock boy. Just how I like them. June is precious beyond all our wildest dreams and as i held her while she slept, I felt the weight of the world lift. Of course you all know I cant end it without telling you that they brought all the babies in but ours. No one knew where our baby was and they had not arrived from the orphanage. So as we waited, I was group video and picture taker. I did ok but after quite a while of not knowing what the problem was, I got pretty panicky. But she arrived, late as usual for our family, making her grand enterance into the room and into our hearts. Thank you God for your amazing Gift.
I will post more tomorrow. I am pretty drained tonight.
Love,
cindy curtis riley and JUNE!!!!!

The eagle has landed...

Well, we finally got here this morning. We arrived at 1:15am and were to be met by our guide or driver. We got our luggage and went outside. And waited and waited. I reread the part of our packet that told us about getting picket up. It said to wait 20 minutes. It is rare to not be picked up. Well one hour later, the airport turned off its lights. We were still standing. There are no phones in the airport past luggage to call anyone. So we said to heck with it and waved for a taxi. We told them the Majestic Hotel. They all just looked at us. I showed the itinerary with the name Majestic Hotel. They just looked at me, because obviously if you cant speak english, most likely you cant read it. So finally 10 taxis later, one knew what the name meant and took us to the hotel. We got here at 3:30am. So much for "rare not to have guide/driver pick you up." Once again, we are rare. I called the travel agency this morning and apparently they didnt understand that the date changed after midnight and were a day off. Oh well, here we are.
Riley has surprised me at how great a traveller he has been. He even has tried some unusual food, with promises of Ramon noodle if he doesnt like it. He has gone thru the Ramon noodles fast so far.
Today is Curtis's birthday. Only a crazy man would turn 50 in China adopting a 18 month old. We are both pretty crazy, but boy I wouldnt want to be too sane. It takes the fun out of life.
A wonderful friend from my office(Joe V) gave us a large donation of money to buy items for the orphanage in Mia's memory. I cant tell you what that did to me when I read that card. He has an adopted daughter from Korea and he knows better than anyone how much a birthmother must give up to allow someone else to raise their child. So I look at the donation as in honor of Peyton and Mia. Two girls loved so much by their families. Our guide called the orphange today to find out what they needed. She talked to the orphanage director who said that they need a digital camera to upload photos to get files ready the help children get adopted. So we went shopping and had great fun buying a digital camera. and we got so many clothes, blankets, socks and shoes, bottles, diapers. I believe it will help the orphange so much.
The director of the orphanage told the guide to tell us our daughter is beautiful, outgoing and walking. She is also the favorite of the orphange so is very spoiled. :) She will fit right in with our other spoiled boys. That is the only way I know how to raise them. I cant believe we get her tomorrow. I am excited, nervous and many other feelings only understood by me. This trip has been so much harder than I expected emotionally. But it all ok. It is as it is. God has blessed us beyond words. I pray tonight that he will cover her heart for tomorrow. She will be scared and I know it. May she slowly accept her new life completely. May we be the right parents for her. May we never compare her to Mia, for no one could compare with the tear-washed memory of a 4 year old. This would never be right, and I will try to never do it. May
we show her the way of love and Christ. I know that tonight a heavenly preparation is going on for her into our family. I do worry about us being 48 and 50. I worry that we will have the energy needed. But I am 100% sure that this adoption is not led by just us. This is a God thing. Completely. And I am in awe that he chose us to walk this precious little girl thru life.
I will post tomorrow after we get her.
I thought you might like to see the cake make by the hotel for curtis. Gotta love pretty cakes that are filled with strange things and taste horrible.
Love,
cindy

Spoiled Pink

When you get delayed forever during the adoption process, it does scary things to your bank acct. We decided to work on June's room and get things done early while we waited. Unfortunately, I just kept finding things I couldnt live without. My sweet husband painted the room, installed the chandelier, and painted the tree on the wall. I got inspiration from pottery barn, and local baby shops. In case you cant tell, the walls are lipstick pink and just what every little girl should have waiting for her when she comes into a new family. We had fun doing the room, but know she probably wont sleep in it for years. Oh well, it really was for me anyway:)
Hope you enjoy the view into our home..
cindy