update on my beautiful little girl

Wow! It is tempting in print to make everything sound rosey, wonderful with adoption. Nobody wants to tell you the hard times and trials all parents have with new children into the family. I could have filled a book with the hard times, work and patience it took to help Mia turn the corner and trust us. But honestly, I have only praise for June's journey to us so far. Not that it has to do with us, but she was prepared in her orphange for us, was taken very good care of and kept in a nurturing environment until we could come and get her. Her journey into our family and into our souls has been so easy. She now loves her Daddy and no longer fears him. She will go to him without hesitation. However, if I am around, she still prefers me. She puts her head on my shoulders when I pick her up, and pats me on the back. She leans over often to kiss me. She sleeps like a dream, often 14 hours nonstop a night with a nap in the afternoon. Even though she has an open palate, she eats most everything I put in front of her. She is full of life and laughter. I watch her run around the living room and its not long before she rolls her head back and laughs out loud. Mainly, she laughs because as I look into her eyes, I can see that she is happy to her soul. No sadness there, no eyes that remind me that she has lived a hard past, no behaviors that tell me she is trying to trust after a painful start. She simply is a lovely, loving, kind, happy little girl. I feel that we won the parent lottery. She is delicate, and mine. Her surgery is in Dallas 9/16 and the doctors will be closing her palate, revising her lip and fixing her nose all in the same surgery. Please think of her this day as she struggles to understand why the momma she trusts is letting this happen. She will be wearing arm restraints for one month and on liquids for one month. My heart breaks for her during this time. Funny how this surgery sounded so matter of fact as we signed up for this special need and for her. But now that she is here and mine, the surgery somewhat overwhelms my heart for her. I know I am a doctor, but really , in this case, I am just a momma. One who remembers my last visit to a pedi hospital with horror, and dont look forward to this next one. But, I know that the red thread that prepared us for June and her for us continues, and takes us to this next step. Please look at and enjoy the next few pics. She is magnificent. And Mine.

Off To College

Where did the last 19 years go? I tenderly held my blonde headed-blue eyed little baby son close to me and imagined his life. I had so many plans for him. So many dreams. But I didnt even dream as well, or aim as high as he has gone so far. My son Tyler was taken to college this weekend and tucked into his dorm. As I moved him in, I held back the tears. Tears of pride, tears for the gratitude I feel for watching a young man become the man I imagined him to be. He is talented, kind, smart and loving. He is the first to proudly declare himself a "momma's boy". He has shared things with me that would make other mother's envious. I know his heart, and it is good. He is not a perfect person, but a person who gives back to this world. I am so proud of him. As I let go, and let him become his own man, I know he knows there is a crazy old momma at home who has unconditional love for him. A momma who watches him now from afar with admiration and joy. I am a better person because he was given to me.

But it is so hard to let them go. Here are a few pics of us moving him into Texas Christian University (TCU). And, oh my, the dorms are still awful.

Her Birthday

Aug 14 was Mia's birthday. She would be 6 year old. I will always remember this day and celebrate her birth. She loved her birthday, she loved her grandma's cakes she made for her, and loved opening presents. She hadnt gotten old enough to figure out that there were "birthday parties" for kids, because she loved our "family parties" and we always made sure she was a princess on this day.
Forever, on this day, I will remember her life and birth. It is my duty as her Mother to remember, celebrate and love.
God, how I miss her.

Home

Well, we have been home almost 2 weeks and I cannot believe how amazing our sweet little girl is. She has adjusted like a dream. She walks all over the house, explores, runs and laughs out loud all the time. She loves the 3 boys, and still thinks Riley is her 3rd parent. He is so rough with her, and she loves it. We , in turn, are so gentle with her and she is such a gentle little soul. Someone taught her to trust, and it is so evident in that she let us in so quickly. She is not afraid anymore, and loves us so much. I have had so much fun watching the fear leave, and the laughter begin. Our hearts were so prepared for her, and hers for us. Thank you God.

I will never forget coming into the baggage area at midnight on our trip home from China. There standing were Tyler and Jordan. The look in their eyes when they saw her will always stay with me. Two big old boys, men actually, who were standing there holding a big stuffed rabbit, had faces that immediately softened, their eyes slightly opened, and they had an amazing look of love for her when they saw her. There is no way to explain what love I saw, for her and us. Not everyone can love a child immediatly . Not every family can bring in a child and feel like she has always been there. We can. And I am so very glad we did.

Isnt she magnificent?

To Our Friends and Family

We will get home late wed, or early thurs. am. Please remember that June is in transition. She is not a happy, playful toddler. She wont want you to hold her, touch her, and she is most likely to be overwhelmed in our new home for her. It will take a few days for her to settle in. We will keep her home as much as possible early on, to get her feeling secure and safe. When you see her, please do not expect her to let you hold her. She probably may not even look at you. She is very grumpy at present, and will need lots of love and time. She wont even walk without screaming, because she only wants to be held. Be patient with Riley. He thinks he is one of her parents, and has repeatedly informed us of how to hold her, care for her and gets her from us, because he knows what she needs. He will have to transition to big brother, since he has been like a 3rd parent to her here in China. So if he is a little territorial and bossy, forgive him. He will move on soon to his video games and computer. I do hope June will let her Dad in soon, because my neck and back are killing me. We hope we all survive the 24plus hours home, nonstop except for layovers 5 hrs at a time. Cant wait to see you all.
I guess I'll have to rename the blog title. No longer is one daughter waiting in China. I will forever miss the daughter waiting in heaven. She will not ever be replaced or forgotten. Two different girls, one mom and dad who love them eternally. How can we ever be the same again?
Love to all,
The Texas bound Foursome

Bon Appetit

These were the choices for main entree at the restraunt we walked by tonight. I left out the photos of the puppies, kittens, and scorpions. Too yucky and sad for words. Blahhhh! But someone is enjoying them tonight. And to think, I ate eel a week ago. (still nauseated at that one).

Last full day in Guanghzou

Today we went to a Buddist temple and several other families had their babies blessed by the monks. I wanted Riley to see the beauty of the temple and I think it is an interesting thing to see in China. We did not bless our baby, mainly because it is, in my heart, contrary to the inner beliefs I have in a heavenly father. I have asked our God for blessings on this little girl from the moment I saw her photo. So, I pass no judgement on those who do this, but feel for our family, the visit to the temple was for interest only. We did see the female budda who is in charge of fertility, and when our guide told us this, I wanted to run...and fast. No fertility blessings desired here. We have been fertile enough. LOL.. Enjoy some photos of the day.

Safari Park Guanghzou

We visited the safari zoo yesterday and it is a beautiful botanical type zoo. You ride in a little tram thru part of the park and watch the animals as in an african safari. Half way thru the day, at the furthest part of the park , on foot, we got caught in a torrential downpour. Rained and Rained. June was a trouper but after we were all soaking and cold, she got a little miffed. She must have throught "The amazon people have taken me home to the rain forest". Riley enjoyed it all, and liked the rain the most. I will have to censor Curtis's general feelings about the day. LOL. PS: June still HATES him. With a passion. He is trying to act like he is ok and understands, but I think it is wearing on him. Me too, since that leaves me doing everything for her. And when she gets upset and cries(which is alot) she now screams for MOMMA at the top of her lungs. And I am not the momma she is crying for. She misses her nannies at the orphanage and her stable world. It is so very hard to hear. Breaks my heart, really. I pray she will soon find some peace. The process for her has been very heartbreaking. I feel like a kidnapper.

One more day, then we leave for home.

cindy

Talk to the Hand, er...No, the back of the head

When we go out to eat, we put June in a high chair. Very quickly, she manages to turn herself around completly and put her back to us. It is comical, really, and no matter how many times I turn her around, she is right back with her back to me and her dad. Have you ever tried to feed a child ? Especially since most of her food is liquidy. My back and arms are tired from being a contortionist. You just gotta laugh at the spunk of this girl. Lord help us!

Do you think by looking at this photo that she is sending us a subtle message?

LOL

cindy

PIX FROM GUILIN

Elephant Trunk Hill And Reed Flute Cave

Guilin City

Li River Cruise